Category Archives: Biography

Birth Story – Ife

March 30, 2014Biography, memories#meKristin

I wrote this soon after the birth of my second daughter, Ife in 1973. We had been in Atlanta almost a year. Jim was printing and I was working at the Institute of the Black World doing clerical work. My sister Pearl and her husband lived within walking distance. Jilo attended preschool at Martin Luther King preschool.

Birthday. Why isn't she wrapped up like a little burrito? Poor baby. — Birth day. Why isn’t she wrapped up like a little burrito? Poor baby.

March 29, 1973 – 9am – 8lbs 3 ounces – Holy Family Hospital, Atlanta, GA

I continued working at the Institute of the Black World until Monday, March 27, when the braxton hicks contractions were too uncomfortable. For the next three days I slept until 1 or 2 PM or later. Jilo was at school and Jim at work. We were living in a duplex at 2600 Cascade Rd. SW in Atlanta.

At midnight of the 28th the contractions became regular. I threw up. They were not too hard. Jim timed them. He’d read a chapter of a book about birthing this time. Daddy called about 12:30. At 4:10 we called Dr. Borders. Contractions were 8 minutes apart. Pearl and Michael took us to the hospital. Jilo stayed with them. I had one contraction on the way, about a twenty minute trip.

I was checked in, shaved with a dull razor, given an enema. It seemed like the contractions were gone forever. They weren’t. Jim was a lot of help saying don’t panic, don’t breath so fast. I really didn’t need to pant except when they were checking the dilation then it was so cold. In fact the room was freezing and next time I’ll wear a sweater.

Dr. Borders checked every half hour. At 8:30 am, I felt a mild desire to push and told Dr. Borders. She said go ahead and I was moved to the delivery room. Although I had been drowsy I immediately woke up alert and not at all tired. However once again the contractions disappeared. No one panicked though, they just sat and waited. At this time I kept expecting Dr. Borders to say it was taking too long and she’d have to give me a spinal. The nurses tried to help find the right breathing breath, breath push and confused me at first. The contractions were mild and not strong, they said, so gave me something to strengthen them. The one nurse pushed down on the stomach while I pushed. Jim was there in blue but didn’t get to say much. I was quite discouraged, but Dr. Borders said it was coming along and finally THE HEAD CAME OUT! I didn’t feel it come down or anything, it just popped out, I had an episiotomy. The cord as around her neck, but Dr. Borders got it off and out came Ife. It was something as I said before. They showed her to me and they hit her heels and she started crying. She had dark hair. They took prints, cleaned her nose, etc. And it was cold again. I got a heated blanket and we all congratulated each other. It took awhile to get stitched. I felt fine. I didn’t go to recovery, just to the room. Ife was supposed to come with me, both my doctor and her pediatrician okayed it, but the nurses never brought her. They told me her temp had to stabilize.

I felt fine, excellent, never really bothered by stitches. Roommate was weird, had a c-section and kept saying morbid things and complaining. A real drag. I had rooming in. I nursed her when she wanted and was never engorged.

I hadn’t realized before that my first daughter’s birth had been so messed up by the hospital staff coming in every five minutes like it as a public event, my Doctor’s lack or interest and knowledge of natural childbirth, Jim’s absence and lack of knowledge of how to help, the length of labor.

In Ife’s birth all of these things had an influence on me, which I hadn’t realized until labor really started. If I had known I was only going to be 4-5 hours in labor at the hospital instead of 14 and that Ife would indeed get herself born without forceps, etc. I would have been more relaxed and could have enjoyed it more. Things to remember next time-take a sweater, take a bag or breath under covers to avoid hyperventilation, which puts you out of it. THE BABY WILL COME OUT! Get a single room, leave as soon as possible, the hospital that is.

What’s in your bag?

March 15, 2014Biography, The Book of MeKristin

Prompt #29 from The Book of Me – What sort of purse do I carry and what is in it?

I usually carry this bag with me. I made it from scraps of mud cloth several years ago. It’s lined with some navy blue fabric I had on hand but it should have been lined with black. There is plenty of room for the items below, plus my camera, a notebook, a book or whatever else I need at the time.

Altoids case – actually has various pills in case I get caught out at dinner time without them.
Bimah case with drivers license, debit card, cash.
Two ball point pins.
A pencil from Ikea.
A dime.
A striped case holding my checkbook and various papers.
A glass case for my distance glasses.
A glass case for some extra reading glasses.
My keys with a reindeer horn thing from Norway and the car open/closer.
My cell phone.

I usually carry this bag with these things in them. I keep meaning to make a very small, under my coat/jacket/shawl bag just large enough for cell phone, keys and license. Unfortunately, I don’t remember until I’m on my way out the door.

My First Gift

February 6, 2014Biography, The Book of Me#me, #SpringfieldKristin

When I saw Prompt 18 – Your First Gift, in The Book of Me, I was sure I had a list of what I received when I was born in my baby book. Unfortunately, when I checked there was a list of people who gave me gifts, but not a mention of a gift. I remember having a little silver cup and a silver fork and spoon but I have no idea who gave them to me. I don’t know where they are now and I can find no photographs of them.

Something I did notice was that the handwriting and the language used in the baby book appears to be my father’s and not my mother’s. I had always thought it was my mother who kept the book. Only a few pages were filled out at the time. There is some information I added years and years later when I was about 12 – When I started to talk and walk, what childhood illnesses I had, and a list of some of my elementary school teachers.

One last thing about the baby book – it was found in pile of trash to be thrown out with other papers from my father’s office at the church but someone saw it and saved it. Why was it in the office? Anyway, I’m glad it was rescued.

Looking again, I see that Dearie Reid brought my going home outfit to the hospital. I’m thinking that she bought it. I wonder what I wore home. It must have been the second week in September in Springfield, MA by that time. Maybe cool? Maybe hot?

Playing The Piano

February 4, 2014Biography, Detroit, sepia saturday#Doris Graham Cleage, #Henry Cleage, #meKristin

I started taking piano lessons when I was about seven years old. We lived on Chicago Blvd. in the parsonage. Mrs. Fowler was our teacher. I remember her as a stern older woman who, according to my cousin, sometimes smashed her fingers on the keys when she kept making mistakes. I think of the room with the piano as the “Morning Room”. Maybe that’s what my mother called it. There was wall paper with fruit on it. My music book was “Teaching Little Fingers to Play” and I learned 3 note pieces with words like “Here we go, up a row, to a birthday party.” When played in a different order it became the piece “Dolly dear, Sandman’s here. Soon you will be sleeping.” I must have practiced between lessons because I remember being used as a good example to my cousin Barbara one time. The piano must have belonged to the church because when we moved, it stayed there.

The piano I took lessons on behind Henry and the cello. — The piano I took lessons on behind Henry playing the cello.

Several years later we were living in the upper flat on Calvert. I told my mother I wanted to take piano lessons again. She bought the used upright piano in the photo above. We all signed it on the inside of the flap you rest the music on and raise to get at the insides. Our new teacher was Mr. Manderville, the church choir director at that time. He was my parents age and went in more for mean, sarcastic remarks as opposed to banging your fingers on the keyboard. I wanted to play “Comin’ Through The Rye” but he wouldn’t assign it and, for unknown reasons, I didn’t just learn it on my own time.

The only piece I remember by name was “The Wild Horseman”. I remember it as a complex piece that I played exceptionally well. Sort of like this.

Well, maybe I wasn’t quite that good, but in my memory, I am every bit as good. Eventually I told my mother I didn’t want to take piano lessons any more. She was not happy with that and mentioned buying the piano at my request so I could take lessons. She did let me stop. My mother played the piano much better than I ever did. She played it often after that. Pieces of classical music she played on the record player and those she played on the piano have become confused in my mind now. I will have to ask my sister what she remembers.

For more Sepia Saturday offerings, CLICK!

Another part of the prompt is pictures within the picture. You will notice three pictures on the wall and one of my sister and me on the piano, in my photo above.

Canvas of Memories – 1966 – 1974

February 2, 2014Biography, The Book of MeKristin

I did this “map” of my life during the years from 1966 to 1974 several years ago. The original is on a piece of stretched canvas 18 inches by 24 inches. At one time it had something painted on it but I covered that with Gesso, then ran off contact sheets with photos, drawings, writings and other material from that time. I wrote dates and thoughts that I would understand, although others might not. I blacked and whited out some stuff and that’s it. The prompt for The Book of Me this week is “Memory Board”.

Here are some links to other posts written about that time period.

I Met My Husband in the Library -1966

The New York Storm of 1969

3203 Glendale Avenue, 1970

2600 Cascade Road SW 1972 – 1974

Memories of Snow

December 10, 2013Biography, The Book of MeKristin

snowychurch — St. John’s Congregational Church through the snow. Springfield, MA 1949. Photograph by my father, who was the pastor of the church at the time.

: I remember looking out of the door to see the snow even with the porch. I was about two years old.; Winter 1949 me with my sister Pearl. Springfield, MA. We played out in the snow and pulled each other on that sled when we were older.I remember March blizzards when my sister and I would be about the only students at Roosevelt Elementary school. Most people stayed home, although the schools never closed. We lived on Calvert, two blocks from the school and our mother was a teacher there, we all walked there together.

"Pearl and Kris Christmas 1968" — Christmas 1968, my sister and me with my grandmother in the window. A week before my trip to New York and the blizzard of 1969.

The New York Snow Storm 1969: Right now there’s a blizzard going on outside. I was out earlier to wash and I got soaked. You can’t hardly see a block and it’s already at least 5 inches (maybe 3) and giving no sign of stopping.

Thanksgiving of 1975 my husband, my two daughters and myself traveled by bus from Charleston, SC to Detroit to visit family. There was a heavy snowfall the night before we were supposed to leave and the buses stopped running. After waiting at the bus station, we called a friend who took us back to my parents house where we stayed until the buses started running the next day or the day after. We slept downstairs in my grandparents flat, which was empty as they had died the year before. That is the same flat that my grandmother is looking out of the window above. Those couple of days might have been the most pleasant of the trip.

Snow, snow and more snow! — Two of my daughters sliding down the hill in front of our Excelsior Springs house.

Excelsior Springs: In the winter the roads were snowy and icy. I had learned to drive in the South and was not use to winter driving. When the first heavy snow fell, I went out in the yard with the kids and played in it. We couldn’t understand why none of the neighbors were out there. After several more years, snow didn’t seem so glorious. Still nice though.

iciles — The kitchen window and the garage/apartment in the background.

Thanksgiving 1991: My memories of this Thanksgiving begin with the snow storm that dumped at least a foot of snow on us. It started the day before and continued into Thanksgiving day. I remember waiting for people to arrive, standing out in the yard looking through the woods at the road and seeing cars coming through the snow.

For several years my 4th daughter Tulani taught her dogs to pull a dog sled. I took one ride on it. Even though it was going very slowly, I felt like I was racing along the road at break neck speed.

In 1998, my oldest granddaughter was Baptized in Detroit. I drove down from Idlewild. When we went into church big, fat snowflakes had started to fall. By the time we came out snow covered everything. I think this was another March snow storm.

Several years later, after a stay in Oceanside, CA, my daughter and her family moved back to Michigan. They came up to Idlewild that winter and experienced snow for the first time. Here I am pulling the same sled my sister is sitting on in the earlier photograph as another granddaughter follows.

View from the lake. — View of the house from Water Mill Lake

This is one of my favorite snow pictures. I took it at the last house we lived in before moving to Atlanta. I love looking at the snow and walking in it, but driving on it is not fun, especially if it melts and freezes as ice. When I asked my husband his memories of snow he said sliding off of the road and driving to work in the snow.

My street in an Atlanta snow. — My street in an Atlanta snow two years ago.

We live in Atlanta now where we don’t get the big snows of Michigan but almost every year we’ve had a day or two with snow on the ground.

The Year I Was Born – 1946

December 2, 2013Biography, The Book of Me#meKristin

From Montgomery to Detroit – Founding a New Congregational Church

November 11, 2013Biography, CoAAG, GrahamsKristin

This post was written for the 5th and newly reborn Carnival of African American Genealogy (CoAAG), hosted by Luckie Daniels of Our Georgia Roots and Our Alabama Roots and founder of the facebook community African-American Genealogy & Slave Ancestry Research (AAGSAR).

I decided to write about my maternal grandfather and the church he helped found in 1919, Plymouth Congregational Church. Please click on the images to enlarge them and read the articles below.

My grandparents, Mershell and Fannie (Turner) Graham met in the First Congregational Christian Church in Montgomery, Alabama. They were married there by Rev. Scott on June 14, 1919. After the ceremony, Mershell took his new bride back to Detroit to begin their new life. One thing that would be familiar was the worship service at the newly formed Plymouth Congregational Church.

Fannie and Mershell soon after their marriage in 1919.

When Mershell, migrated to Detroit from Montgomery, AL in 1917, many of his friends, were also leaving. In 1919, nine of them gathered together to form Plymouth Congregational Church. At first they met in members homes and in borrowed and rented spaces. In 1927 they were able to purchase their own building, a former Synagogue. They moved in May 15, 1927.

Plymouth Congregational Church Garfield and — Plymouth Congregational Church at the corner of Garfield and Beaubien streets on the East Side of Detroit.

After church about 1927. Mershell holding my mother Doris, Fannie, Mary V. and Mershell Jr. — After church about 1927. Mershell holding my mother Doris, Fannie standing behind Mary V. and Mershell Jr. in front.

plymouth+church — Plymouth Congregational Church – September 30, 1928. Detroit, Michigan

Plymouth had been in the building about 1 year when this photo was taken. My grandfather, Mershell C. Graham, is standing behind his daughters, Mary V. and Doris (my mother). Their cousin, Margaret McCall, is standing between them. They are in the front row, towards the left side of center. The minister, Rev. Laviscount, is standing behind Mary V. My grandmother, Fannie, had just given birth to their youngest son, Howard, so she was not able to be there.

An article about the history of Plymouth. — An article with some of the history of Plymouth Congregational Church.

plymouth_founders 3 — Mershell Graham’s name was misspelled as “Gardner” above.

My parents met at Plymouth’s youth group. My father was ordained there. In November of 1943, my parents were married at Plymouth by Rev. Horace White. On a visit home to Detroit while we were living in Springfield, MA, I was Baptized there, also by Rev. Horace White.

Invitation to my father's Ordination. — Invitation to my father’s Ordination.

My grandmother Fannie, my grandfather Mershell and my mother Doris. I am standing on the table. I believe it was during this visit that I was Baptized at Plymouth.

Because I attended my father’s church on Sunday’s, I don’t have many memories of sitting in the pews at Plymouth. My memories are of going with my grandfather to fix thing, usually the furnace. My sister and my cousins and I would roam around the empty church while we waited for him to make the repairs.

Plymouth Congregational Church, now Plymouth United Church of Christ, was forced to relocate when the area was urban renewed in order to build the Medical Center in the 1970s. White churches were allowed to remain in the area while black churches were forced to relocate. The new church is located at 600 E. Warren Ave. and continues in use by Plymouth today.

You can read more entries by clicking this link 5th Edition of CoGAAC

History of Plymouth

My Journals and Diaries

October 5, 2013Biography, The Book of MeKristin

I have kept many journals during my life. Unfortunately I’ve only kept them for short periods of time, sometimes a day, sometimes several months. I have used all sorts of journals and sometimes just plain notebooks. I think that because the pages are spread out in various journals, I should type all the entries into one file on the computer. I could print it out. Or I could take pages from where they are and put them in acid free sleeves in a binder. Right now I’m sure they are not much use to anyone. Even I find it hard to locate information from a particular time and place.

I do have several journals from family members. I have my grandmother Fannie’s Little Book and a big scrapbook. I have my grandfather Mershell’s work notebook. And I have my Uncle Henry’s Diary kept in 1936.

Below are more or less random pages from 4 of my journals from 1967, 1972, 1981 and 2001. I’ve transcribed with some correction of grammar or spelling where it makes it easier to understand.

December 4, 1967 - Bronze pour, junior year Wayne State University. — December 4, 1967 – Bronze pour, junior year Wayne State University. I was 21 years old.

12/4/67

The fire’s green, noisy, can’t hear voices hardly. getting ready to cast – pour. have big cans set up. 2 to do it. Katze (note: the teacher in charge of pour) has visor on. (room) smells dusty, dusty. hard to breath. dirty. sand all over floor. fire flame big, roars, loud – dust – loud dust. Can’t be ready yet. glasses just ran downstairs. sculpt must really get involved in it.

Can even hear roar on steps. Like train. Sounds like burning. Smells like hot metal – no wonder. at other end of room someone works with some tool – makes sparks & higher buzzing noise off and on combines with steady roar. Room covered with white dust didn’t answer – the (maybe the um sound was yes)

They poured and it ran out so had to heat more, spilled it on floor, started fire. Burned 3 folks feet. not badly. Oxygen stored in there. Fireboxes not hooked up! no evacuation of building. Linoleum on floor. Total chaos.(Note: before the spilled hot, liquid metal, everyone thought the floor was cement but it turned out that there was cement looking linoleum.)

man holed up in his house on west side.

1976 - Raising rabbits and tomatoes, Simpson County, MS. — February 3, 1976 – Raising rabbits and tomatoes, Simpson County, MS. I was 29 years old.

2-3-76

Fed goat & rabbits twice. pollinated tomatoes & pruned more for transplanting in greenhouse #1. Those need watering. soaking them overnight to get better start. Those with roots do better (& small leaves) than large leaves & no roots. Fill holes with water when transplanting.

Found 2 red tomatoes in #2 when pollinating. found Velma rabbit had ear canker. looked in Rabbit book & called Ruth Shiers about treatment says common & should treat rabbits monthly as precaution. Put Vaseline on it. Need camphophenic to treat it & all others as a …

1981 - Trip to Norway — July 4, 1981 – Trip to Norway. I was 34 years old.

July 3, 1981 friday

Started out a very sunny warm day until after lunch – ended up being cold & RAINY. Went to the theater to see a fairy tale of a princess a would be prince who had to get 3 feathers of a dragon to win her. Very good – even understood a few words. Before it started, a tall man came up & said he should have written a synopsis & did I know the story – then he started telling it to me. (Note: He was the playwrite.) The people who organized this outing, neglected to call in reservations & we had to wait for cancelations, luckily there were some. After we went in the cold rain to get varme polster, pomme frit og ice!(?) It was COLD with dress, bare legs & sandals but a good evening & it’s nice to be back & warm. Paul was at Blinern stop.

Class is harder – ie. lessons are, class remains the same. Spent more time in language lab today. Mary Kate reads at 3,000 words a minute. Now to bed.

July 4, 1981 Saturday

Classes in morning. Sunny day went downtown in afternoon with Joan & Kari. Walked all the way over to St. Olaf’s Church.

Campus party was tonight. Jilo (Note: my 11 year old daughter.) went & stayed until midnight, danced a few dances with a nice Howard student. I went for a moment with little Kari & her mother. It looked like everyone was having a good time. Reminded me of those terrible parties & never danced. it also made me miss Jim.

Went for a long walk with Joan, little Kari, her mother & a lady I can’t remember, who also never liked parties. Walked all over in a different direction, to the stadium.

2001 - Car trip to San Diego — June 29, 2001 – Train trip home to Michigan from Seattle. I was 54 years old.

June 29, Friday

“This land is your land, this land is my land…”

Woke up in Montana. isolated cabins on the sides of wooded mountains. mountain (rushing streams) line of parked cars in the middle of no where. a deer on the side of the tracks, pine trees, poplar or is it aspen? “Big sky” low clouds.

James, the Chinese steward, had a laugh this morning with the Irish woman across the aisle. He’d thought she’d be Chinese (note: because her name was “Lee”.)… “Robert E. Lee wasn’t Chinese”, she pointed out, a bit peevishly.

I awoke around 7:30 (6:30) Seattle time) yawn. Could have slept longer. Mountains of feathery pines. So close together. The highway right below, a stream leads up, up, up the mountains to a meadow. “I knew the mountains would make you well.” Breakfast of yogurt parfait.

On closer view, what appears to be meadow may be bushes. Least that’s what the one we passed was. Going through open covered tunnels? bridges? Better than the dark holes.

Rock is gray, slate like layers, dirt was mauve this morning. Began taking photos. Why didn’t I do that all along??? What a waste. Oh well. Jilo & ife have bot expressed an interest in cross country travel.

Down the corridor a couple are discussing their vacations & train trips. The rocks do look like the earths bones. I need to use the bathroom…

Are we lower or higher? trees are smaller, fewer. More grass. God’s golf course out there?

Montana high plains. rutted dirt road comes out of fields to the truck. Several piles of dumped household stuff. Irrigation. Houses, small, alone. A man with orange flags. Clouds I could reach out the window and touch. Sage brush again every where. Wonder if it’s like my sage.

April 5, 2004 Shared Journal with my daughter ife. I was 57 years old.

My daughter and I were going to fill this journal up, mailing it back and forth from Idlewild, MI to Seattle, WA. We started it when her twins were 6 months old. We never completed the book.

Monday morning April 5 – full moon 11:04 AM

Waiting until time to leave for Ludington for my first mamogram. Another sunny, cold day. Yesterday I saw a robin on my walk and there was a crocus in the garden. Spring is really here. (my entry from Michigan)

Tuesday 8…….A quick sketch of the Deifenbaccia that is in front of the west window of the living room. it is doing much bettwer since it was repotted inot a larger pot and now that it gets nice strong light. I spend a lot of time watching it grow.

Both Sean and Sydney are finally napping.. they don’t want to be moved from my lap though… cuts down on being able to use this time… (ife’s entry from Seattle)

Describing Me

September 15, 2013BiographyKristin

jaramogiseward — My father, Jaramogi Abebe Agyeman/Albert B. Cleage about 1975.

I look a lot like my father did when he was my age. I turned 67 in August, 2013. Usually, I hope people will not notice much of what I am going to tell you here, but because it is the 3rd prompt in the “Story of Me, by Me”, I am going to share it. My hair, once sandy, now is grey, rapidly turning white. It’s not as thick as it once was, although it still covers my head pretty well. I have some age spots on hands and face. I’ve got one or two extra chins and 75 extra pounds. My hands are wrinkling up like they’ve been gathered. I’ve got dark circles under my eyes and dark eyelids. I’ve worn my hoop earrings 24/7 since I had my ears pierced at 15 and the earlobes are sagging a little, as is everything else. My eyes are still blue/grey and my brows are still arched. My eye lashes are almost missing. My complexion has a reddish hue.

My feet have calcifications on the achilles tendons from long ago ignoring symptoms I should have paid attention to. Due to the feet going bad, I was unable to continue my fast 4 mile daily walks and put on weight, which I still haven’t gotten rid of. I used to be 5 ft 7 in, now I’m lucky if I’m still 5’6″. Allergies I never had before make my throat, eyes and ears itch when the air is bad or the pollen is high or a cat is around. I have a c-section scar, stretch marks, skin tags, several chin hairs and too many flat moles to count. Any childhood scars have faded away.

I’ve got high blood pressure, high Cholesterol and low thyroid. My eyes are getting worse. I can’t read without glasses and now need them for viewing performances or anything in the distance. My teeth are my own and I have all of them, minus one and the wisdoms. Many have fillings or crowns. I wear 1X or 2X or, even better, one size fits all. I prefer to go barefooted. Never wear heels and dress for comfort. That used to mean jeans and t-shirts, now it mostly means skirts and loose blouses. I’m about to move to only flowing garments. I prefer pictures where I am smiling.

1146625_10200475796592895_2003393037_n — My husband Jim and me, summer 2013.

Finding Eliza