A Feeling of Home

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This picture comes from a book belonging to my Graham grandparents ‘The Young Folks Treasury – Ideal Home Life.’ I always thought of it as being in one of those big houses on East Grand Blvd. That we drove past on the way from the grandparents to Belle Isle. I didn’t know it was a Swedish. When we lived in the parsonage on Chicago, we had dining room furniture that was big and heavy and looked sort of like this. We only ate one meal there, the Thanksgiving dinner before my parents separated in 1954. It may still be in use in room off of Fellowship Hall at the Shrine of the Black Madonna on Linwood. Anyway, it always had a feeling of ‘home’ for me, even though I never witnessed a scene like this in real life. I probably read too many old books.

The photo above is from my Graham grandparent’s book “A Treasury of Fun”.  They received it soon after their marriage in 1919. Although of a certain time and place, it says “home” to me. Maybe I read too many old books. Below is a collage of 4 of my many homes.  Click images to enlarge.

When I was growing up, home was where my family lived. I didn’t think about how long we’d be there or where it was, it was home. And when we moved again (as we regularly did), the new place was home. Our familiar furniture and books were there. We ate together  in breakfast or dining room, the familiar food.  My sister and I did our same chores.

When I was 13 we moved into the first house we bought. We lived there almost 10 years, longer than any place else I lived up to that point.  It was at 5397 Oregon. Because it was where we lived the longest, memories of home often center on this house.  When I was a senior in college we moved to a 2 family flat with my grandparents. By that time I was planning my escape out into the world and that flat always felt temporary. In 6 month I graduated and was gone.

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Drawings and photographs of 4 of the 20 houses I’ve lived in.

During my early years on my own, the house I lived in wasn’t always “home”. In my early 20s, I moved 7 times in 3 years. Living in back rooms, attics, other people’s houses, temporary apartments, always waiting/watching for the next place to go.

It usually takes a certain amount of time for a place to feel like home to me. Some places feel more friendly than others. After a year it begins to feel permanent, even though none have been forever so far. Although we usually move everything, or most everything, with us, several times we have not been able to and then home feels bare until we can replace the missing things with different ones. I still wish I could go back and get some of them – the roll top desk, the dressers.

Family, both in the house and in the area, make a house feel like home. A dining table where the household sits and eats meals and plays games. Puzzles, plants, paper, pencils, tools and photographs are always there.  Space to work on projects.

Here are some links to posts I wrote about all the places I lived and other important streets in my life.  Index to streets in my life.

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Click for more information about The Book of Me project.

Index to Streets In My Life – 1946 – 2014

Dates are approximate

A is for Atkinson – 1951 – 1953   Atkinson paternal grandparents home – 1949 – 1987

B is for Broadstreet, Detroit – 1969 ( Spring – fall)

C is for Calvert, Detroit – 1954 – 1958

Chicago Blvd, Detroit – 1953 – 1954

Cascade Rd. SW, Atlanta – 9/1972 – 9/1974

D is for Dexter, Detroit

E is for Elmhurst – 3/1969 – 11/1969

F is for Fairfield – summer 1968 –  January 1969

G is for Grand River, Detroit – fall 1970 – spring 1973

Glendale, Detroit – Spring 1970 – Fall 1970

Hogarth & Linwood – Church

I is for Inglewood Court, St. Louis – Williams home

Idlewild Cottage – 1943 – 1992

J is for Joy Road, Detroit

K is for King St. Springfield, MASS – 8/1946 – fall/1948

L is for Linwood

Layfette – 1968

Lovett – Cleage Printers & Cleage Clinic

M is for Monterrey – early winter 1971 – early spring 1972

N is for North Martindale, Detroit – fall/1970 – early winter/1971

O is for Oregon Street, Detroit, MI – fall 1958 – summer 1968

Old Plank Road – 1960 – 1967

P is for South Payne Drive, Idlewild, MI – 1981 – 2004

Q is for Quiet Street – Watermill Lake – 2004 – 2007

R is for Route 1 Box 173 1/2 – 1976 – 1983

Rt 1 Box 38 – The Luba Project 1975 – 1976

S is for Sixth Avenue, Mt. Pleasant 1974 – 1975

Scotten, Detroit – Paternal grandparents 1919 – 1948

T is for Theodore St. Detroit – Maternal grandparents home 1922 – 1968

Third Avenue, Detroit – 1966

U is for Union Street – 1948 – 1951

V is for Venetian Drive – 2007 to present

 W is for Wilkins Street – 1971 – 1972

X is for eXcelsior Springs, MO – 1983 – 1986

Y is for Yates Township – 1986 – 2003

 Z is for Zamziwillie – endless

Two Sisters – Braxton, MS & Atlanta,GA – June, 1980

In June of 1980 my sister Pearl and her daughter visited us in our home on St. John’s Road Mississippi.  My husband, Jim, took this photo of both of us and our children. The one with her eyes closed is Pearl’s daughter.  I thought it would be interesting to take an entry from her journal, as it appears in her new book “Things I Should Have Told My Daughter – Lies, Lessons & Love Affairs” by Pearl Cleage and, since I wasn’t keeping a journal at the time, take old letters and put something of what was happening in my life at the time.

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Pearl, Ife, Ayanna, Jilo, Deignan, me holding Tulani. June 1980, St. John’s Road, Mississippi.  We must have been saying “Cheese!”

Pearl had recently moved to her own apartment, leaving her husband and devoting her time to writing and figuring out freedom. From Pearl’s journal about her life in Atlanta …

“June 5, 1980

I have just discovered the only advantage to freelancing.  You get to be stoned while you earn a living. Unfortunately, that is also true of rock and roll stars, actors who are lucky enough to be cast in Robert Altman films, Rastafarians, and particularly foolhardy circus preformers. I think it also applies to the construction crews that do most of the renovations that I know about.  It also applies to artists of all kinds, but since I was talking about freelancing, which is a way of making money, let’s leave the art out of it, shall we?”

Meanwhile, several states over in Mississippi…June 17, 1980  from a letter to my father

Dear Daddy,

How’s it going?  It’s hot, hot, hot here.  It’s been a strange weekend.  Kibibi – the 25 year old woman who lived a weird summer with us at Luba when we first came to MS was shot 3 times in the head by her 10 month baby’s daddy during an argument. It was such a ridiculous, unexpected, stupid thing. 

I remember Kibibi sister’s husband coming up the stairs of the house on stilts and telling us about the shooting. Given that the civil rights violence had barely ended, it seemed horribly sad that she was shot to death by her daughter’s father.

You can read more about my life during this time in R is for Route 1 Box 173 & 1/2

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Ipperwash Canada – 1960

iperwash_1960!My sister and I running by the dunes at Ipperwash, on Lake Huron in Canada. It was 1960. I was 14 and would start Northwestern High School in September. Pearl was 12 and still at McMicheal Junior High School.  The lake is in the background but the strange distortions at the top make it difficult to tell what is there.

My mother and Uncle Henry had been trying to find a place to spend weekends and vacations out of Detroit. That weekend we had driven through various towns and country to reach Ipperwash. There was a wide beach and cars could drive on it. The beach itself was all open to the public.  I remember the house we looked at was like a big farm house and had beds all over, in the attic and in the several bedrooms.  We spent the night at a cabin the realtor had and left early the next morning. They decided not to buy there because of the cars on the beach and the public.

I remember driving their or home through a rainy day. Looking through the car window at the towns we drove through, everything summer green, but greyed by the gloomy day.

Lake Huron Ipperwasy beach
Lake Huron Ipperwash beach – a Wikie Commons photo.

The Ipperwash Crisis – While looking for photo of the beach, I found that during WW 2 the Canadian Federal Government expropriated the land of the Stoney Point First Nation with promises to return it after the war. The war ended, the land wasn’t returned. In 1995 members of the Stoney Point First Nation occupied the land in protest. There was a cemetery located in what was now called the Ipperwash Camp.  During the protests an unarmed member of the protesters was shot and killed.  The land was to be returned to the Stoney Point First Nation but it hasn’t been completed yet.  You can read more about it at the link above.

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Birth Story – Ife

header_ifebabyI wrote this soon after the birth of my second daughter, Ife in 1973.  We had been in Atlanta almost a year. Jim was printing and I was working at the Institute of the Black World doing clerical work. My sister Pearl and her husband lived within walking distance. Jilo attended preschool at Martin Luther King preschool.

Birthday. Why isn't she wrapped up like a little burrito? Poor baby.
Birth day. Why isn’t she wrapped up like a little burrito? Poor baby.

March 29, 1973 – 9am – 8lbs 3 ounces – Holy Family Hospital, Atlanta, GA

 I continued working at the Institute of the Black World until Monday, March 27, when the braxton hicks contractions were too uncomfortable. For the next three days I slept until 1 or 2 PM or later. Jilo was at school and Jim at work.  We were living in a duplex at 2600 Cascade Rd. SW in Atlanta.

At midnight of the 28th the contractions became regular.  I threw up.  They were not too hard.  Jim timed them.  He’d read a chapter of a book about birthing this time.  Daddy called about 12:30.  At 4:10 we called Dr. Borders. Contractions were 8 minutes apart.  Pearl and Michael took us to the hospital.  Jilo stayed with them. I had one contraction on the way, about a twenty minute trip.

I was checked in, shaved with a dull razor, given an enema. It seemed like the contractions were gone forever.  They weren’t.  Jim was a lot of help saying don’t panic, don’t breath so fast. I really didn’t need to pant except when they were checking the dilation then it was so cold.  In fact the room was freezing and next time I’ll wear a sweater.

Dr. Borders checked every half hour. At 8:30 am, I felt a mild desire to push and told Dr. Borders. She said go ahead and I was moved to the delivery room.  Although I had been drowsy I immediately woke up alert and not at all tired. However once again the contractions disappeared.  No one panicked though, they just sat and waited.  At this time I kept expecting Dr. Borders to say it was taking too long and she’d have to give me a spinal. The nurses tried to help find the right breathing breath, breath push and confused me at first. The contractions were mild and not strong, they said, so gave me something to strengthen them.  The one nurse pushed down on the stomach while I pushed. Jim was there in blue but didn’t get to say much.  I was quite discouraged, but Dr. Borders said it was coming along and finally THE HEAD CAME OUT!  I didn’t feel it come down or anything, it just popped out, I had an episiotomy.  The cord as around her neck, but Dr. Borders got it off and out came Ife.  It was something as I said before. They showed her to me and they hit her heels and she started crying. She had dark hair.  They took prints, cleaned her nose, etc.  And it was cold again. I got a heated blanket and we all congratulated each other.  It took awhile to get stitched. I felt fine. I didn’t go to recovery, just to the room.  Ife was supposed to come with me, both my doctor and her pediatrician okayed it, but the nurses never brought her.  They told me her temp had to stabilize.

I felt fine, excellent, never really bothered by stitches. Roommate was weird, had a c-section and kept saying morbid things and complaining. A real drag.  I had rooming in. I nursed her when she wanted and was never engorged.

I hadn’t realized before that my first daughter’s birth had been so messed up by the hospital staff coming in every five minutes like it as a public event, my Doctor’s lack or interest and knowledge of natural childbirth, Jim’s absence and lack of knowledge of how to help, the length of labor.

 In Ife’s birth all of these things had an influence on me, which I hadn’t realized until labor really started.  If I had known I was only going to be 4-5 hours in labor at the hospital instead of 14 and that Ife would indeed get herself born without forceps, etc. I would have been more relaxed and could have enjoyed it more.  Things to remember next time-take a sweater, take a bag or breath under covers to avoid hyperventilation, which puts you out of it. THE BABY WILL COME OUT!  Get a single room, leave as soon as possible, the hospital that is.

Memories of the Detroit Main Library

When I was growing up, this was the entry way to the Detroit Main Library.  It opened onto Woodward Ave. We probably started going soon after we moved back to Detroit when I was 4.  There was a man who stood there, a very friendly older man who looked at your books when you were going out to make sure you had checked them out. Younger than I am now, Ihe was very friendly and always smiled at my sister and me. He wore a blue suit and had a round head, with little hair.

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Woodward Entry.  Click to enlarge.

To the right was the check-out counter. The door you can see to the right led into the children’s room. The picture books and early reading books were right inside the door to the left. Straight ahead, against the back wall were the books for older readers – “Invisible Island”, the Narnia books and others.  My mother brought us here often, interspersed with trips to  libraries closer to our home.ceilingAt the time I don’t remember noticing the high ceilings and the murals specifically, but they were the background for my library experience.  In 1963, an addition was added on the Cass side of the library.  With building and lawn, it occupies the entire block.  For reasons I don’t understand, most of the books were moved into the new area, leaving the old one behind.  The book checker moved to the new side of the building and continued to sit there all day and look at books. He was there when I studied on the new side all through college and he was still there in 1972 when I started taking my oldest daughter to the library.

New addition.
Cass addition.

To read more about the Main library

  • I Met My Husband in the Library “I usually studied in the sociology room of the Main Library, which was in the middle of Wayne’s campus.  As I was leaving to go to my next class that day, a guy came up and asked if I was Rev. Cleage’s daughter. I said I was.”
  • Detroit Public Library  “Designed by Cass Gilbert, the Detroit Public Library was constructed with Vermont marble and serpentine Italian marble trim in an Italian Renaissance style. His son, Cass Gilbert, Jr. was a partner with Francis J. Keally in the design of the library’s additional wings added in 1963. Among his other buildings, Cass Gilbert designed the United States Supreme Court Building in Washington, DC, the Minnesota State Capitol and the Woolworth Building in New York City.”
  • Historic Detroit Library  “In March 1910, after some surprising opposition, the Common Council voted to accept an offer from steel magnate Andrew Carnegie to provide money to go toward improving the Detroit library system. Following two years of court cases and legal mumbo jumbo, the city finally got the go-ahead to start issuing bonds and moved ahead with building a replacement for the structure downtown, a building that was still only 35 years old.”
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The Ludington Lighthouse, 1956 – Sepia Saturday 188

 My grandfather, mother, sister and I were spending several weeks at my Uncle Louis Cleage’s cottage in Idlewild.  We made a day trip to Ludington, on Lake Michigan, about 30 miles from Idlewild. We had walked out to the light house, which was no longer in use. 1956 was the year I wore glasses.

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Pearl, Poppy and me. Ludington, Michigan 1956.
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My mother, Pearl, me.

In this picture, taken facing land but on the same pier, you can see how the cement walk slopes down toward the lake.  There was a flat part down by the water where fish had washed up and they were flopping around trying to get back to the water.  My sister Pearl and I climbed down and were throwing the fish back in the water until our grandfather noticed and told us to come up and stop it before we fell in the water.  We did it but we were not happy about it.

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Poppy rowing on Lake Idlewild.
Patio. My mother, Pearl and me. Notice the face in the trees to the left. It looks like my grandmother in her younger days. It doesn't look like it belongs there.
Patio in front of the 2 cottages. My mother, Pearl and me. Notice the face in the trees to the left. It looks like my grandmother in her younger days.  Is it really there?
Close up of face in the trees.
Close up of face in the trees.
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Ice Skating in 1986 and 1961

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Out on the ice – James (or is that Kamau?), Jann, Ife, Shashu, Tulani & Ayanna.

This photo was taken in 1986 during the first winter we lived in Idlewild.  We used a variety of shovels to clear the ice – new red plastic snow shovels, ancient metal snow shovels and a coal shovel we found in the garage.  My aunt Gladys and uncle Hugh were in their 60s then and out skated all of us. They had racing skates and glided around with their hands behind their back looking so cool. You can see a photo of them in earlier years here – Skating Champions.

For most of the 20 years we lived there, the ice was frozen solid, 4 or more inches deep by Christmas and remained frozen until early spring. Ice fishermen came from far and wide to drill holes and sit on buckets or in little huts and fish through the ice. Once a car drove across from the far side to our side. This year Idlewild Lake hasn’t frozen at all because of the warm winter.

When I was in High school my sister and I would walk up to Northwestern High School and skate on the rink in a corner of the field. I found several articles in the Illustrated News from December 1961 and January 1962  about the lack of a warming shelter or place to leave your shoes while you skated at this same rink.  I was in the 9th grade that year and I do remember this.  Click on the pages below to enlarge and read the articles.

Part 1 of the story – the problem is raised.

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Part two of the story…citizens become involved.

 

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The Illustrated News_Dec_25_1961Part three of the ice skating shelter story – problem solved.

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THE 2012 CHRISTMAS GENEAMEME

advent-candlesThis post is in response to the Deck the Halls Geneameme over at the Family History Across the Sea Blog. To participate or find links to more blogs doing the meme, click on the candles to the left.  Thanks to Pauleen for putting this together.

Christmas 2011
Christmas 2011
  1. Do you have any special Xmas traditions in your family?    In addition to having a Christmas tree we also set up a manger. When the children were home or my granddaughter is here we set it up at the beginning of Advent and move Mary and Joseph along day by to to arrive at the stable on Christmas Eve.  Jesus appears at midnight and the three wise men start their journey, arriving on Epiphany.
  2. Is church attendance an important part of your Christmas celebrations and do you go the evening before or on Xmas Day?  Some of us attend Church services and some don’t.  Those who do go to the night service on Christmas Eve.
  3. Did/do you or your children/grandchildren believe in Santa? None of us believe in Santa.
  4. Do you go carolling in your neighbourhood? There have been times when we caroled but not recently. Click on the link to read about my youngest son’s caroling experience.
  5. What’s your favourite Christmas music?  Click on the link to hear my favorite Christmas song which is Christmas in the Trenches.
  6. What’s your favourite Christmas carol? My favorite Christmas carol is We Three Kings and you can click on the link to hear it played on hang drums.
  7. Do you have a special Xmas movie/book you like to watch/read In the past I used to watch It’s a Wonderful Life and A Christmas Carol on television but since I no longer have a television, I listen to Dylan Thomas’ A Child’s Christmas in Wales, which you can hear by clicking on the link.
  8. Does your family do individual gifts, gifts for littlies only, Secret Santa (aka Kris Kringle)?  I have 5 children and 6 grandchildren who live in the same city my husband and I do, Atlanta, GA. On Christmas evening they all come over to my house.  After we eat dinner, we open all the gifts. At this time my children, grandchildren and we the parents give gifts to everyone of us. They aren’t expensive gifts but there are a lot of them. You can see some of us just before opening our gifts on Christmas day in 2011 above.
  9. Is your main Christmas meal indoors or outdoors, at home or away?  Christmas dinner is indoors at our house.
  10. What do you eat as your main course for the Christmas meal? You can read a description of our usual Christmas dinner, with a photo by clicking the link above. It is the same dinner my grandparents and my mother cooked, with a few changes – turkey with cornbread stuffing, greens, rice, green salad, rolls (my grandmother had biscuits), cranberry jelly (my grandmother’s came from a can, we make ours with fresh cranberries), candied sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese.  We also have brisket  and various desserts – sweet potato and mince meat pie, or cheesecake, pound cake, fruitcake.
  11. Do you have a special recipe you use for Xmas? I make my own fruitcake from a combination of various recipes and changes I make. Click on the link to see me mixing it up. I have a bowl of mixed dried fruit and I need to go on and finish the cakes! I am so late.
  12. Does Christmas pudding feature on the Xmas menu? Is it your recipe or one you inherited?  We had no Christmas pudding on the table.
  13. Do you have any other special Christmas foods? What are they? Not that I can think of.
  14. Do you give home-made food/craft for gifts at Christmas?  Sometimes I give fruitcake and sometimes various children or adults make cookies to give. Click the link to see some of the gift cookies.
  15. Do you return to your family for Xmas or vice versa?  Our family is mostly in Atlanta. One son  and granddaughter live in other cities. This will be the first Christmas she hasn’t spent with us in 5 years. He is living far away in Seattle so often doesn’t get here. Our parents are no longer living so this is “home”.
  16. Is your Christmas celebrated differently from your childhood ones? If yes, how does it differ?  When I was growing up we went to both grandparents house, my maternal grandparents in the afternoon and my paternal grandparents at night. Aunts, uncles and cousins would be there. Food and gifts were eaten and exchanged along with conversation and laughter. We were in Detroit so we usually had snow for Christmas. Here we are more likely to have rain..  We’re the grandparents now so our children and grandchildren come here. only one daughter has in-laws in the city so the others do not make visits to two houses on Christmas day.
  17. How do you celebrate Xmas with your friends? Lunch? Pre-Xmas outings? Drop-ins?  I don’t have any friends that I celebrate Christmas with. The closest would be my sister and her husband. We go by there during the holiday and they come by here on Christmas day after dinner at her daughter’s house.
  18. Do you decorate your house with lights? A little or a lot?  We never do and never have decorated with lights. Click to see a short post about lights in my Christmas.
  19. Is your neighborhood a “Xmas lights” tour venue? Our neighborhood is far from a tour venue. There are very few lights in this area.
  20. Does your family attend Carols by Candlelight singalongs/concerts? Where? There are Christmas concerts at the various schools my grandchildren attend and sometimes we attend.  This year I went to a French caroling concert at one school. If we go to a Christmas church service there will be carols to sing along with there.
  21. Have any of your Christmases been spent camping (unlikely for our northern-hemisphere friends)?  Although my youngest son and my husband received boy scout Polar Bear Badges for winter camping, none of us have done any Christmas camping.
  22. Is Christmas spent at your home, with family or at a holiday venue?  Here at home.
  23. Do you have snow for Christmas where you live? There was a snow scare one year and everybody spent the night with us but since we have left Michigan we have not had a white Christmas.  It’s raining outside right now with no predictions of snow. The temp is 55 F right now on December 16.
  24. Do you have a Christmas tree every year?  We have a living tree every year. We tend to wait until the last minute to get it and put it up a few days before Christmas. When we lived in the country my husband would cut ours or we would buy a $5 scotch pine from a roadside stand. Now that we are in the big city we buy a pine and it costs more than $5.
  25. Is your Christmas tree a live tree (potted/harvested) or an imitation?  Click to see more about the trees I have had.
  26. Do you have special Xmas tree decorations?  We save the decorations from year to year so some are from when my own children were small and some were bought and some were made by my grandchildren. I wish I had a few from my mother’s tree or her parents tree but those disappeared long ago.
  27. Which is more important to your family, Christmas or Thanksgiving The meals for Thanksgiving and Christmas are identical. This year we ate at one of my daughters for Thanksgiving. New Years Eve is also a family celebration with everybody who doesn’t have plans sleeping over here. The grandkids consider the New Year sleepover perhaps a higher point than Christmas. Click to read something about my Thanksgiving memories.

My Trip To Norway – Summer 1981

A letter home.
A letter home.

I thought of this card when I saw the prompt for this weeks Sepia Saturday. There is no kiss but there is water and a boat. Reading the card made me remember that I had written up my trip to Norway years ago, I didn’t have to write it from scratch. Hence this post.

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This article first appeared in Catalyst Magazine in the Summer of 1990.

In June of 1981 I was 34 years old, three months pregnant and on my way to spend seven weeks in Norway with my then ten-year-old daughter Jilo.  I left behind my husband Jim and three younger daughters, Ife 8, Ayanna 5 and Tulani 2.  There were also several milk goats and a flock of laying hens on our 5 acres in rural Simpson County, Mississippi.  It was my first time outside of North America.

I had been corresponding with Sister Peg Dunn, a nun, about our mutual interest in Sigrid Undset, Nobel Prize winning Norwegian author of “Kristin Lavrensdatter.” I had become intrigued after reading that she wrote her novels while raising six children. Sister Peg arranged for me to attend the International Summer School at the University of Oslo.  Jilo and I traveled to Norway with her.

It is now 1990, nine years later. I’m 43, the yet-to-be-born-baby is 8 and Jilo will be 20 in June.  We now live in Michigan.  The goats and chickens are gone, but we’ve got rabbits and the garden grows larger every year. When I think about that trip these are my memories, excerpts from my journal and from letters I wrote home.

I remember wondering if those men wearing fatigues waiting to board my plane were hijackers. The pain in my ears as the plane descended. Hearing Danish spoken over the airport loud speaker.

June 16, 1981, Airport in Denmark
Dear folks,
We are drinking orange juice in Denmark and waiting for the plane to Oslo. Ten hours is a long ride! Only two more hours of dark and I am sleepy.
More soon.
Love, Kris

I remember the marigolds and petunias in the window boxes of the apartments and houses everywhere we went. Walking up0 five flights, seventy steps to the apartment we stayed in.  Looking out of the kitchen window at the grass, women hanging out wash and children playing in the yard below.  Walking, walking and more walking.

June 17, 1981 Wednesday, Oslo, Norway
Dear Jim,
We are staying with the lady poet that I met in Chicago. She gave me 2,000 koner ($400) in the bank here. Jilo and I walked all over and never got lost.  Everyone does speak English so far.  Women wear backpacks instead of carrying purses.  Tomorrow the three of us will take a train to Trondjem – a seven hour ride, where we’ll stay in a youth hostel until Monday.  I miss you. 
Love, Kris.

I remember taking the train to Trondjem. How at one point, everybody (except us) got up and turned their seats around to face the opposite direction.  How tired we got of the bread and salami and bread and salami and bread and salami, we had packed to eat.  Mistakenly jumping off of the train before it pulled all the way into the station and then having to jump over the wires and cables to get to the station.

June 19, 1981, Dombas Norway
Dear Jim,
We are staying in a valley surrounded by snow capped mountains tonight.  We walked a mile or more from the train station to the hostel with our backpacks.  Was I glad not to have a suitcase!
Love Kris.

I remember not being afraid to walk around at any time of the day or night. The long days. At midnight it was dusk.  Riding the train through glacial mountains.  How low the clouds were.  Seeing a waterfall in the mountains.  Gudbrunsdal Valley.  How hard it is to strain to catch a work you understand in a new language. How it is even harder to come up with one and say it.  My discomfort at entering the World War II Museum of Resistance and being greeted in, surprise, Norwegian by the welcomers. How they saw my expression and tried French then, to my relief, English.

June 21, 1981, Monday, Dombas, Norway – journal entry.
Jilo and I walked around Dombas in the morning.  There was a field full of the biggest, bright yellow dandelions I have ever seen.  Someone was growing tomatoes under plastic covers…there were bus loads of middle-aged German tourists. Can’t help wonder what they were doing during WWII.

June 23, 1981.  Wednesday. Oslo, Norway – journal entry.
A warm sunny day.  Today we went out to Blinern University on the trikk (subway). Took a tour of the campus.  Met a friend of Sister Peg’s for lunch in the cafeteria, Liv.  She has a research fellowship here. Is married and has an almost two year old son, Mangus.  She had taught a few years in Chicago.  Had read and seen “The Women’s Room” on TV recently.  Especially remembered the part where the woman is trying to quiet the two children and put them to sleep and the husband staggers out going to his mother’s where he can “get some sleep.” She said the wife should have thrown one of the babies at him.

We walked home, a half-hour, pleasant walk through a camomile covered field.  At dinner preparation time (Jilo cooked) we blew the stove fuse and couldn’t figure out how to change it so had to eat cold leftovers.

Then we caught the trikk to another friend of Sister Peg’s.  She lived in an apartment made from the second floor of her parents’ house.  She taught English to adults and Norwegian emigrant children. She also had seen “Women’s Room” and liked it, although she said, it didn’t deal with the problems of her generation. She told us about the social discrimination against emigrants, poor people on the east side of Oslo (where the tour buses never go) and different dialects in Oslo and having her passport stolen from a basket she carried in the store. Those things didn’t used to happen, she said.  She had been going to Poland.  There was a candle on her table and along with wine, coffee, chocolates, nuts, coffee cake, Christmas cake, butter and goat cheese.  Jilo drank solo (grape pop) She gave Jilo a snowflake pin and showed her a bunch of English books.  One poetry book included the poem “Give you son forty licks, beat him when he sneezes.”  She told us how she used to drag her younger sisters around by their feet when she was left in charge and they would act up.

I remember watching Ethiopians playing soccer in the field of camomile.  Celebrating Jilo’s birthday in the mountains with whipped cream topped apple cake.  The Folk Museums with old, old  houses, stave churches and guides dressed in national costume.  The festival day at school with the fiddler father, singing mother and dancing daughter.  How they seemed to really be enjoying themselves.  Eating lefse, roumergroten, flat brod and brown goat cheese, Jilo walking and riding the trikk all over Oslo, by herself, not speaking Norwegian and never getting lost or having any trouble.

June 29, 1981, Monday, Oslo – journal entry.
Today began cloudy and rainy but ended up nice and sunny.  Met a Californian in the laundry room.  A student from last year passing through, doing her clothes and reading Don Juan.  Trying to lose her past.  She asked if I’d found rules to live by. I told her my sister had. She also mentioned the fox in “The Little prince” and being responsible for what you love.

I remember the children’s party. Organized by a Mexican married to a Norwegian and a Bulgarian.  The kids tossing balloons around.  The Bulgarian complaining about her young chuildren catching colds so often at day care and balancing the children, her ex-husband and job.  The Mexican singing “Las Mañanitas” for the son of a Norwegian woman who worked in the kitchen. Hearing the Royal British Wedding on television in another room while I washed clothes.

July 3, 1981, Friday. Oslo – journal entry.
Started out a very sunny, warm day until after lunch, ended up being cold and rainy.  Jilo and I went with some students to the theatre.  Before the play started a tall man came up and said that he should have written a synopsis and did I know the story?  Then he started telling it to me. A fairy tale about a princess, a would be prince who had to get three feathers of a dragon to win her. Very good…I even understood a few words. The theater was old and big. We had to to to a small room up in the top or the play.  Afterwards we went in the cold rain to a kiosk and got sausages, french fries and ice cream.  We had agreed to talk only in Norwegian.  Whew!  I was cold with a dress, bare legs and sandals. But a good evening and it’s nice to be back in the room and warm!

July 2, 1981, Oslo
Dear Ayanna, This morning the Norwegian woman who cleans my room, washed the floor and was speaking Norwegian to me about my flower, but I couldn’t understand what she meant.  I guess I have to study harder. 
Love, Mom.

I remember realizing that the woman had put a saucer under the plant for me.  Walking to the park past a mental hospital.  The man people told me had been brilliant who stepped from one square to another square for hours at a time all day  long when they let him out of the hospital. Seeing topless sun bathers. Vigelandsparken Sculpture Park with nude statues of all stages of life but, strangely I thought, no pregnant woman.  The garden section, blocks and blocks of tiny houses for drinking coffee and eating cakes, surrounded by flower and vegetable gardens of those who lived in apartments.  The strange feeling of living where Nazi soldiers had lived when they occupied Norway.  Hearing my mother’s laugh coming from a group of students gathered on the steps below my window. Watching day by day as a young man worked on repairing the stairs…the girl that came and watched him, talked to him. just wanted to be with him.

July 19, 1981 Lillehammer, Norway
Dear Jim,
We did get out alive from Sigrid Undset’s bed and house.  It was very strange. Reminded me of one of those Public TV mysteries where suspecting travelers are taken in and treated kindly by weird folk who later murder them in their beds. I discovered how Sigrid Undset wrote a Nobel Prizewinning novel “while raising six children.” She left the two step-daughters in Oslo and moved to Lillehammer with her two young sons and a nursemaid.  There she wrote the first book of “Kristin Lavernsdatter.” She was tired after this because she had to keep interrupting her work to cook, clean, etc., so she brought tow more old houses. One small one for her husband (an artist) to paint in when he came out from Oslo and one for herself to work in.  It is this one that we slept in and it is connected to the original house by an added on corridor.  She also hired several maids and a cook., in addition to the nursemaid. She then left the kids and the servants in the original house and proceeded to write her masterpieces.  She later had a third child and for many years later served as a foster mother to two Finnish war orphans…Her daughter-in-law, Christianna, was odd but very talkative and nice to us.  She gave me two children’s books by Sigrid Undset (in Norwegian) and she got her young neighbor to drive us out to Undset’s grave about 15 miles away.  There was a weird little man, about her age who she referred to as “the young man.” He tried to be pleasant, spoke no English and was always leaping around smiling. One time he was supposed to open a bottle of wine and he couldn’t find the corkscrew.  He kept popping into the room and finally she sailed out after him. I expected to hear a loud smack as she boxed his ears, but she found the corkscrew and opened it. I could understand a lot of the Norwegian they spoke and that was encouraging.  I had given up hope.
Love, Kris

I remember how awful it felt to be back in school studying Norwegian and how much I felt I was missing by sitting in the classroom when real Norwegians were all about talking real Norwegian and wonder still why I kept going to class.

July 22, 1981 – journal entry.
Homework very hard.  Feel overwhelmed by busy work.  Decided to skip class tomorrow and go on field trip with another class.  Miss  Jim.  Interviewed by the newspaper, Aftenposten. Very poor English by reporter, better by photographer, nonexistent Norwegian by moi. Rather embarrassing.  Jilo got us some Norwegian deodorant.  It doesn’t work a bit.

I remember the lady from Denmark who sat next to us on the plane ride home and talked about how bad things were getting, she had to lock her doors now when she left her house, not like the old days. How dirty everything looked when we got back to Chicago and how good it was to see my family and eat home-cooked food again.

 

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